Why Family Narratives Matter in Homeschool Education
Recently, during some training sessions at my church I've been reminded of how essential it is to know our own stories. Not only do our stories help us understand where we've come from as individuals, they help us see a greater narrative unfolding in our families and communities. Even having an understanding of what one's name means is so important. I recently discovered that my name has an entirely different meaning from the one that I was told growing up and that revelation is reshaping my understanding of myself, and in the process, giving me a greater appreciation for the gifts with which I've been entrusted.
Stories hold great power, both individual narratives, and broader ones dealing with families, communities, and even nations. Here we often extol the power of story to educate, develop character, encourage, and inspire. And research clearly shows that developing a strong family narrative is one of the best things you can do for your family.
The Research Behind Family History Education
Dr. Marshall Duke, a psychologist at Emory University has researched families for decades and honed in on one aspect of his work to try to discover what kept families together. In an era where divorce and family dissolution is rampant, he was interested in finding out what families could do to counteract this trend. In a fortunate twist, his wife works with children with learning disabilities and she was noticing that the students who were the most successful in navigating the challenges their disability posed were those who seemed to know a lot about their families. So Dr. Duke decided to dig deeper.
Through numerous tests the results were always the same: the more children knew about their family's history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem and the more successfully they believed their families functioned. The "Do You Know?" scale turned out to be the best single predictor of children's emotional health and happiness. This finding was tested in an extreme way when the September 11 attack happened. And the results held. The children who had a sense of who they were in relationship to a family history were better equipped and more emotionally resilient.
Growing Up With Family Stories
As a child I loved hearing the stories of my parent's childhoods. My dad had hilarious stories about his friends, who he gave nicknames like Meat Man and Bean Bun. My mom would tell us about how she and her seven siblings once thought their neighbor was hanging his wife, only to discover she had a bad back and was being suspended by her feet to get some relief from her chronic pain. We would laugh over the bullies who stole my dad's lunch and smashed bananas on his head.
Both of my parents are consummate story tellers and I doubt that they were intentionally trying to create a family narrative but that is what they were doing. I also spent hours reading through a collection of stories recorded by a great aunt about her father, my great grandfather, growing up in North Dakota when it was still pretty wild. There were funny stories, boring stories, stories of adventure, stories of failure, and stories of success.
Three Types of Family Narratives for Homeschool Families
In the research, the psychologists found that there are three types of family narrative. First, the ascending family narrative: "Son, when we came to this country, we had nothing. Our family worked. We opened a store. Your grandfather went to high school. Your father went to college. And now you...."
Second is the descending narrative: "Sweetheart, we used to have it all. Then we lost everything."
The most healthful narrative is the third one. It's called the oscillating family narrative: "Dear, let me tell you, we've had ups and downs in our family. We built a family business. Your grandfather was a pillar of the community. Your mother was on the board of the hospital. But we also had setbacks. You had an uncle who was once arrested. We had a house burn down. Your father lost a job. But no matter what happened, we always stuck together as a family."
It is essential that the family story not be whitewashed, nor ought it to be all doom and gloom. Of course, waiting until a child is of an appropriate age to reveal more mature details is wise, but children need a realistic and accurate understanding of their roots.
From Family Narrative to National History Curriculum
And I think this can be extrapolated out to a broader level. Could it be that one of the reasons our nation is so fractured is because we have failed to maintain a national narrative? History is taught not as a story but as facts to memorize and forget after a test. Both on a national level and a wider human level the loss of our story has very sad consequences.
If knowing the stories of our families makes us want to work harder to keep them together and gives us a strong sense of belong and identity, wouldn't the same be true about a national narrative? Wouldn't it be helpful if our elected officials had a historical perspective and knew that our country has been deeply fractured in the past but pulled together for a greater good? Might it be better to have a fully colored history taught in our schools that recognized our nations strengths as well as her failures? And is it possible that greater human narrative may show us that we're not so different from everyone else?
It may be a simplistic to think that but perhaps if we instill a strong sense of our family story within our children, they will go on to think more broadly and see the benefits of working together to preserve the things we love.
Practical Steps for Teaching Family History in Your Homeschool
So if you don't already, start telling your children the stories of your childhood. Tell them how their grandparents met, if their marriage was a happy one or maybe a strained one. Tell them about that strange uncle who was always off doing his own thing, or that gossipy sister, or the caring aunt who was a second mother. You'll be surprised by how much your children absorb and take with them.
And spend time reading about our human history. These are all books that inform us of who we are as a nation. They tell us of our place in a greater international narrative. These are the books we love to rescue from being out-of-print, titles that we believe passionately should be part of every homeschool humanities curriculum because they help our children understand the oscillating narrative of our nation and world—the triumphs and failures, the heroes and villains, the progress and setbacks that make us who we are.
Building Resilient Children Through Story-Based Education
When we integrate family narratives and honest historical storytelling into our homeschool curriculum, we're doing more than teaching facts. We're building emotionally resilient children who understand their place in a larger story. We're raising young people who can face challenges with the knowledge that their ancestors faced difficulties too, and persevered. We're creating a generation that sees history not as dusty dates and names, but as the living, breathing story of real people—including themselves.
This is why we at Beautiful Feet Books believe so passionately in a literature-based approach to teaching history and humanities. Stories have the power to transform not just what our children know, but who they become.